Unfortunate Circumstances
by Keith Thomas
I passed by a
homeless person the other day. Just a snapshot out the window of a younger
woman. Rail thin. Missing teeth. Dirty grey sweatshirt. Back pack on the ground
beside her. Holding a cardboard sign. (It seems that the homeless and/or
beggars always have access to magic markers.) The kind of appearance that can
mean lazy drug user that doesn't bother taking the time to do their make up or
a sign properly. I mean really if she could afford a magic marker did she
really need to be on the street begging for money? She was working a lonely
corner in the middle of the afternoon with limited marketing skills. There were
way too many words on her sign to provide any kind of readability at a
distance.
An opening paragraph doesn't always signal
where a story is leading. "Unfortunate Circumstances" seems like the
wrong words for a title; but just as appearances can be deceiving there are
clues as to the upcoming content.
I acknowledge
that we have freedom of speech with some limitation in this country but does
hollering "Get a job!" ever serve any good purpose? I suppose there
is the possibility that would be of help with earning a Masters degree in being
a better asshole but it begs for retort escalation. "Be a better
human!" Annnnnd we're off!
For a couple
of days I had been carrying around a twenty dollar bill meaning to put it
towards a project that Shelley and I are working on. Holy Spirit kept telling
me to hang onto that twenty. So I did. When I passed that corner, it was
instantly made clear to me why. I couldn't stop so I went ahead and quickly
tended to my errand. I came back to where she was, parked the truck and walked
up to her.
I offered to
take her to a McDonalds that was
close to get her a meal. She was wary and declined even though she said that
she was hungry. It's dangerous being homeless. It's dangerous being homeless
with a family. It can also be dangerous picking up a homeless person. I picked
up a guy when I was younger and he tried to rob me. It happens. I had to get
home since I'm a caregiver so I didn't have enough time to go get some food and
bring it back to her. It was a stand-off.
When I was in
the Army I did a tour in Korea.
There were lots of beggars in Korea.
Any more it seems that there are lots of beggars everywhere. Beggars and
homeless people. (Emphasis on people
added.) Several of us were walking on a busy street in Seoul when we were surrounded by a bunch of
beggar kids of all ages. I should also mention here that there were lots of
talented thieves/pickpockets as well. I carried my wallet in my front pocket
with my hand in my pocket wrapped it. Tight. Not much room. A little sweet-faced
cherub, maybe eleven, got his hand in there too and somehow those nimble little
fingers were able to pull bills out. He would pull out one bill and then go
back in for another while his friends were checking out all the other pockets.
A Korean businessman in a suit was walking by and took in the situation of GIs
being victimized by children. He looked at the boy stealing money out of my
pocket and punched him right square in the face--hard. I will never forget that
he looked at me and smiled. Then he was gone and the kids were gone. It was
like it never happened. Everyone was just swallowed up by the crowd.
Segue back to
my beggar du jour story. Was it a scam she was operating? If she was then the sad-eyed
children she mentioned on her cardboard might have been helpful. (Once when I
was growing up and we were coming back from visiting my grandparents, dad got
caught in a small town speed trap. They actually took us to see the judge.
After all it is America
and we had the right to a speedy trial. My younger brother was just walking and
he toddled over to the judge, crawled up into the judge's lap and called him
grandpa. That didn't hurt dad's case.) So, back to begging in general, what kind
of story would be worthy enough to be monetized? Does the quality of a life
story need to be proportional to the donation being sought? Would references or
documentation help in gaining larger amounts? I mean how good does a story have
to be really for a dollar donation, a fiver or a ten spot? Time is money. Why
spend ten minutes pouring out your heart for a dollar? That isn't really much
of an ROI when a novelty sign can get that much. (I was in San Diego at the beach once and a guy had on
a sign that said he would bark like a dog for a dollar. He didn't look like he
was earning a living wage doing that but I don't know what kind of overhead he
was dealing with. He may have been a creative writing drop out. His penmanship
left a lot to be desired. How did he decide that there was a demand for the
particular service that he was offering? It seems like there would have to be a
first time that it worked. Perhaps it was a demand from a donor. Perhaps that
should be the title: "Will Bark
Like a Dog for a Dollar.")
If they ask
for too little is there a risk in offending the wage giver as not being able
afford more. "Do you think that I can't afford more than spare change?!
How dare you?! I don't even carry change!"
I don't ask
for their stories. I don't need them. I'm not the arbiter of determining what constitutes
a donation-worthy story. Besides they just make me sadder. When my wife worked
at a hotel downtown there were drunk winos hiding out in the bathroom. They had
really good stories and afflictions enough for several country western songs
that they were than willing to share when being evicted from their new found
domicile. If scamming as a self-employed entrepreneur is their job it certainly
isn't a job that I would want to have. It isn't a job that's going to send
their kids through college, provide health insurance or dental coverage. It
isn't a job that's going to provide them quality of life.
Quality of
life. I had to go so I gave the woman the twenty that had been earmarked by
Holy Spirit. She took it, looked at me and said, "Seriously." Perhaps
that should have been the title. Perhaps my
appearance in a T-shirt and ball cap didn't make me look like someone that
could afford to give a twenty. I just told her that I was sorry that she had
fallen on hard times. Oh yes, she thanked me too. It just poured out of her.
Then she said to me, "God bless you." Think of that.