NOTE: This was originally shared on facebook June
23rd, 2015. (Paul passed away on the 17th.)
We only get to die once. There are a few notable exceptions.
The challenge of life is to try and make the best of each day that we have. Caregiving involves you at the most basic level of tending to a person's needs. It is humbling. Caregiving provides a perspective of how important the most mundane aspects of life can be, that even small things of the day can be cherished and not to take even the simplest effects of life for granted.
When we had Paul's
memorial service Pastor Andrew drove down from Nebraska to be the
shepherd for his service. He provided beautiful reminders in scripture of life
everlasting. He and Christine are blessings to us. (The role of a pastor's wife
is not easy.)
Paul's long
journey ended with the measure of dignity that was possible. We were blessed
that he was comfortable, with family and at home. Prayers answered. So many
people don't have that in their passing. He was tired and ready to move on. An
ending with grace.
Thoughts of
his care were always with us for 12 years. However, we started our caregiving
with our mother 17 years ago. Towards the end Kim, her primary care giver, would
pray for the strength to provide for her just one more day. His 'mantra' was
"Glory be to God."
It seems now like the blink of an eye. It has to
be said that our faith sustained us throughout, especially those times where we
faltered in our belief that we could do it.
A beginning
with grace. And now for the first time in years Shelley and I feel like we can
truly relax. An interlude. Time to go to the lobby.
We only get to
die once. That makes how we live so very important. Each day is important.
Finding the beauty of each day is important. When Paul first came to us let us
just say that he was cautious with his emotions and words. He and I could not
have been more opposite. That didn't last. He knew that he was loved even in
the most trying of times. He was grateful that I was able to pick him up when
he fell. It was a joy to tell him that I could hold him in my arms with love.
He was a light load to carry at the end. He was also told every day for years
that he was loved. Every day. He said the same in response.
We only get to
live once. Do it right.
Postscript 2017. It took us a little while to adjust to our
new normal but Shelley and I are both retired now and enjoying each and every
day.