Did Jesus brush his teeth? [Religion]

        We usually see Jesus pictured on the cross with a cloth around his personal area. I don’t know why it never occurred to me until it was mentioned in passing during a sermon that Jesus was completely naked on the cross when he was crucified. I just never thought about it.

        Jesus’ humiliation was complete in addition to the pain he endured. He is covered in pictures out of prudery I suppose. Believers don’t want to visualize him naked. But it’s real. It’s accurate. It’s honest. Yet a picture of Jesus naked would be controversial even though we have seen every other aspect of his death portrayed vividly. I do think that it’s important to understand it.

        We don’t often think about what Jesus did in his earthbound body. I mean a lot of his day to day activities probably consisted of doing similar things the rest of us do. There are just some kinds of bodily functions that can’t be skipped. I’m not trying to be graphic. The point is that we often don’t think of the more basic or mundane aspects of life in regards to the time he was here on earth. He slept. He ate. He drank. He learned a trade. He helped out his mom and dad. The majority of Jesus’ time spent here on earth was just being like those around him.

        Setting aside the religious aspect the smallest history of the man named Jesus made it down through the ages. Odd that. What we know about Jesus is hearsay based upon a tiny snapshot of everything that he was and did. We only have bits and pieces of conversations out of all the millions of words that he surely spoke in his life. The most of what we don’t know about is that for a big part of his time here on earth he didn’t stand out in a crowd or we would have heard more about it. He just wasn’t on the historical radar for a large portion of the time. We fill in all the space in between the words that we do have through myriad translations with what he probably meant or would have said about subjects not specifically covered. In some cases context of the times is applied and at other times not.

        Jesus speaks in 15 verses in the bible. 193 words. (KJV) That’s it, give or take a few words. What 193 words would you choose to have as your record here on earth? What would your life story say?

        The claim is that the important essential thoughts made it through. Then wouldn’t that mean that most of what Jesus said wasn’t important? Well, that can’t be true. Besides, it just wasn’t up to us. In reality most of what we know is what we don’t know.

        In idealizing him have we made him unrecognizable? He wasn’t ethereal in his physical body. Jesus the man was human. I think that we skip a lot of the Jesus was a man part or at least don’t spend much time dwelling on it. Why is that? Is it totally unimportant? Is there fear that humanizing the man Jesus would de-deify him, make him less approachable? The life stories of Jesus tell us that he was completely approachable to the poor, the afflicted, working people, the masses.

        While I am not a literalist when it comes to the bible it seems apparent to me that Jesus had emotions. We know that he got frustrated, could be angry. Could he joke around or was he always Mister, “Our father in heaven and he is me said…”? Were there times when he just walked out of a morning and thought, “It smells like it could rain today” or did he already know what the weather would be? Did he tap his foot when a catchy tune of the time was playing?

        Did Jesus have “Hey, how ya’ doin’?” over the backyard fence kind of conversations that didn’t make it to the final book version? It wouldn’t have made for powerful reading but I kind of think it would have helped provide context and color. If we can accept that he was capable of simply saying “Hi” to someone without it having any deep philosophical meaning then some other things kind of fall into place. In other words he was capable of just having everyday types of conversations. Have we taken comments made in passing and made them gospel?

        We have a sense of humor. It seems like that should be for a reason if our design is indeed intelligent. So if Jesus saw someone in one of those silly pratfall slapstick incidents that have gone on throughout man’s existence do you reckon that he would chuckle at the humor? If he talked about someone having a plank in their eye was he joking or was he being sarcastic? If he could be sarcastic we have some serious problems.

        What about his early years? He didn’t start doing miracles until his later years. A toddler performing miracles surely would have made it into the good book. As a child did he play? I like to think so and we don’t know otherwise. Did Mary and Joseph have to sit him down and explain to him who he was or was he born self-aware?

        There was certainly literal and figurative ritual cleansing during Jesus’ time. But how about day to day personal cleansing? Those weren’t times that were real conducive to maintaining good personal hygiene. People smelled and had to have extremely bad breath. On a day to get through the day basis these were not the sweetest smelling people and frankly somebody not smelling or having bad breath would have stood out.

        We can say beyond any doubt that people in Jesus’ time got cavities and were missing teeth at an early age. Did Jesus? Smiling with a few front teeth missing wouldn’t have been noticed. But having a full set of chompers!? It would have been mentioned and noted if he had the glowing white teeth that are becoming so popular today. Granted it wouldn’t have been a miracle on the scale of turning water into wine but it certainly would have qualified as a minor miracle. That’s the kind of stuff that gets written down. “Sure he can raise the dead but did you see those teeth!”         

        If Jesus didn’t brush his teeth then he had bad breath. Would a disciple offer him the equivalent of a tic-tac before he went into a crowd to speak? “Here Jesus, how about a nice mint leaf to chew on before you talk?” Would that make any difference? What if bad breath, body odor, terrible table manners and image aren’t all that important to God? If he showed up for dinner would people tell him to wash those hands and brush those teeth first? I don’t think so.

        Religion market share is about numbers. In the world of business who has the best number is the one that wins. Would a god that doesn’t brush his teeth be less believable than one that does? Or would a god that brushes his teeth be one that we can more readily identify with? Whose picture would be the most marketable today?

        Would the Jesus of his time be welcome in our homes today? Would we let him through the door, or turn him away because of his looks or hygiene? Would he return or check up on us as a contemporary man? The kind of man that would blend in with the crowd?

        It is the actions reported not the word for word dialogue of Jesus that inspire as well as the message. I’m talking about the barest of scraps of all the parts that were Jesus. The message of unconditional love survived regardless of the specific words. Some things, like love and faith, you have to feel and believe with your heart. Falling in love is more than a physical response; more than hormones. It’s knowing. Faith is or can be the same way. Believing can also be a matter of intellect, an intellectual acceptance derived from a variety of disciplines. Faith can be an experience.

        My belief and faith falls into the experience category. My two deepest connections and communications came during a time when I was unchurched and though still a believer I was not engaged with any of the trappings of the faith including regular study. While I am comfortable with my beliefs I do believe that it’s important to study the bible and be inquisitive. It’s our nature as human beings.

        There are some things that we need to start accepting as Christians. What we are proposing for others to accept does sound a little cray cray if you strip away the religious covering. We have to be open to challenging thoughts and questions. Mostly we need to live in a way that would be considered desirable to others. There has to be a reason for people to change behavior. Jesus lived real and did good. He loved and told people to love. (We’re talking spiritual love not the act.) He taught acceptance.

        Accepting that there was a real person named Jesus can be the first step of a journey. Just leave out the God stuff. Who was he? What did he stand for? What did he believe? Can his ideas help me? Can I be a better person? Ask questions of yourself. Are you happy? Do you feel empty? Is there more than this physical world? Do you always have this feeling like an itch that you can’t scratch? Do you feel fulfilled? Is life just something that happens to you? Would you like to know joy? Would like to not be alone? Perhaps a figment of the imagination can be a help to you. Perhaps a very real Jesus beyond just the concept of Jesus can be with you.

        We have what we have. We just have to make the best of what there is before us. That’s what we have to work with. The evidence before us is that his “message” of love from the past did make it through a couple of thousand years. There is the message that there was Jesus. Just that means a lot and speaks volumes about his few written words.  

The Vacation letter [Humor]

My wife Shelley went on a vacation with her Mother and Sister in 1995. I faxed the following letter to her while she was at the Ghost Ranch in New Mexico. It's self-explanatory. It starts off a little slow and then builds.

My dearest wife Shelley,

            Hopefully, the 3 of you are having a wonderful time on your vacation.  I think that it’s wonderful that your mother, sister and you are getting the opportunity to bond.  If you’re worrying about how Joshua, Gizmo and I are doing in your absence you’re wasting valuable time that could be put to better use by enjoying your much deserved vacation.  I think that considering the total picture we’re doing pretty good.  Some concerns have arisen that are hardly worth mentioning but I think it best that I keep you informed just in case.

            Gizmo was certainly a sad little puppy when you left.  I tried to make him feel better the first couple of days by running to the door saying, “Shelley is here, Shelley is here!”  His little face would light up with excitement and anticipation.  He would jump, bark delightedly and wag his little tail for all he was worth.  Of course, it was kind of a downer when I would finally open the door and you wouldn’t be there.  It was great seeing him happy for at least a little while.  Towards the end of the second day he developed a limp.  The vet said something about hysterical sympathetic response due to sensory manipulation and some other dog psycho babble that I haven’t a clue about what it means.  Now, he seems to have forgotten that he’s housebroken!  I can’t get him to go to the door when he wants out.  We should have it all worked out by the time you get back.  Right now he’s staying pretty much out of sight, only dragging himself out when he goes to eat a little something.  That brings up another point.

            Except for the stuff in the freezer, packages and cans we’ve run out of food!  Don’t worry about Gizmo.  He has plenty of food.  It’s a good thing too since he’s throwing up so much.  Do you remember the time that he ate a pound of chocolate?  Well, it’s worse than that.  Frankly, I’m surprised more dogs aren’t throwing up eating that nasty tasting stuff.  The vet said something about stress and a nervous stomach.  I think that he’s just trying to drum up repeat business.  Fortunately, Pizza Hut, McDonalds and the Quick Trip are willing to take checks.  By the way, how important is it to write down the amount of the check in that little register?  Never mind.  I’m sure that we can get it all sorted out when you get back.

            Oh yes, I almost forgot.  Some of the laundry I did may not have come out exactly right.  You know -- odd colors, things not the same size as when they went in, melted things -- the usual run of the mill laundry problems.  It’s a good thing I got most of the clothes done before I put that last load of bedding in the machine.  I heard you mention before you left that you wished you had got all the bedding washed before you left.  I wanted to surprise you by having it done before you got back.  Wouldn’t you know it that stupid washing machine gave out on that one load.  So now none of the beds have any sheets, bed spreads, mattress pads, pillows (Boy! You never mentioned how hard those things are to get in the machine.) or pillow cases.  The washer repairman said that he didn’t think the smoke smell from one burned up overloaded washer motor would linger for more than a week.  I really took exception to that because I contend they shouldn’t put “extra large load” on a machine if they don’t mean it.  Anyway, it all probably worked out for the best what with all the strong smells in the house.  It really isn’t all that bad sleeping outside.  Also, it’s good to know that the smoke alarms are working.  If they hadn’t gone off alerting me to something being wrong there’s no telling how much more water damage we would have sustained.  It was good to see Gizmo excited again.  I really felt bad about his hair getting singed like that.  He was such a brave little guy trying to warn us of danger.

            Josh left home and says that he’s not coming back until you’ve been back home at least a week.  I don’t care what he says about being embarrassed about all the media coverage.  In case you should see something on the news you need to know that things look worse on TV than they actually are.  All those muck raking journalists are just looking for an easy story at some poor husband’s expense.  The screams attributed to me were taken completely out of context and I honestly have no idea in all that confusion where those circus people came from.  I must say those 911 operators have a good sense of humor and irony.  The police were very sympathetic and understanding.  As luck would have the wife of one of the investigating officers was on a vacation. He’s walking around with a loaded weapon.

            I think Josh left because he wanted to spend some time with his girlfriend.  Should I have called to see if her parents were home?  Actually, I did call a couple of times but no one would answer.  Since they have Caller Identification they had to know that it was me calling.  I had to laugh when he left.  He really doesn’t have much in the way of clothes left due to that possibly correctable in some isolated instances mishap with the laundry.  He certainly isn’t going to be able to buy much in the way of clothes with that signed blank check that I gave him since there couldn’t possibly be much left in the checking account at this point.  Did I mention that since I misplaced your check I wasn’t able to deposit it?  I think that I misplaced it during all the commotion at the bank.  Some pretty darn happy street people were carrying on, jumping up and down behind me when I was outside the bank.  I had to be a little rude I’m afraid and tell them to be satisfied with what they had and to leave me alone.

            I have to tell you my little sweet that I was just a tad aggravated with you when you left concerning the performance of the dishwasher.  I distinctly remember you telling me that it was supposed to be a really good one.  The point is moot since food preparation in the kitchen at this juncture is impossible anyway.  I believe you had mentioned wanting to do something different with the tile in the kitchen.  A rather large portion across from the microwave has now been removed.

            The next appliances we purchase are definitely going to have more warning labels I can tell you for sure.  I was surprised when the microwave lit up like a Christmas tree but I was totally unprepared for the explosion that followed.  I think that there must have been some sort of design flaw.  It was a deafening explosion but at least there’s an upside.  I can no longer hear the constant shrilling of the smoke alarms.  That was starting to get on my nerves and make me just a trifle edgy.  I have also been just a bit on the blinky side but the doctor said that could eventually go away.

            This seemed like a good time to try and get some outside projects done.  For the most part the security lighting system I installed is working pretty good.  Most of the lights work.  You know I was checking one of those little bitty bulbs and smoke actually came off of my fingers where I grabbed it to see if it had become loose when I inadvertently ripped the top off of the fixture.  I didn’t want to take a chance on having another short since I had been having so much trouble with the breaker box.  Who would have though a bulb that size could get so hot?  I think that I have the majority of the lights inside the house back on now. I moved the VCR and TV to the basement.  I did manage to salvage our wedding tape.  I’ve been watching that for better or worse part of the ceremony over and over.  Do you remember that part babe?  It really is one of the more moving and inspirational parts of the whole ceremony.  That blinking VCR light is distracting though.  If I just could get the dumb thing to stay on I could get around in the basement better.  It is too bad that I couldn’t get some of the majority of lights to stay on down there since the basement is now the only cool part of the house.  What with all the fumes and all I’m just too afraid to light a candle.

            When you come home don’t use the garage door opener.  Should by some miracle the garage door actually work it still wouldn’t be safe for you to enter the house that way.  Since this message may be read by others the lawyer has advised that I not say anything further.  We’ll talk more about it when you get back.  I sure hope that the check you had me mail to the insurance company turned out to be one of the good ones.

            Someone named Okra, I think, keeps calling and asking for you.  It’s kind of hard for me to hear the answering machine.  If you call pretend you’re talking to mom.

            The instructions you left were helpful but I have learned some other things in your absence:

·         Make sure that the spray nozzle of that personal defense mace is pointed away from you and that you’re upwind when you use it.  The safety is not on when that little lever is up.

·         That hot wax hair removal stuff should not -- I repeat not -- be used on ear or nose hair!

·         Herbal bath gel is not an acceptable substitute for salad dressing.

·         Your mother may have been right.

·         Fireplaces are a lot heavier than they look.

·         There’s a quicker way to get to the basement.

·         The difference between tbs. and pt in cooking directions.  Incidentally, you can get way to much dough in a bread machine.

·         It’s not a good thing for a loaded clothes dryer to run all night on high.

·         There’s a lot more than windows that those cleaning people won’t do.

·         I’ve discovered how truly grateful I am to have a spouse who doesn’t overreact to small un-pleasantries.

            I talked with my mom and she said that since your mother and sister are with you and will probably read this letter I shouldn’t fax it to you since there’s no telling how they might react given your family’s history.  I had completely forgotten that your sister goes medieval occasionally and that you mother has a long history of dealing with groups of people in confined spaces.

            Gizmo is just fine.  Lorena, the dog groomer, didn’t cut his hair too short.  We’ll know more when the stitches come out of him or her depending on what they find.  If he doesn’t come when you call Gizmo try calling Missy instead.  The vet said he may be having an identity crisis.

            So, disregard the first part of this letter and start here.

Dearest Shelley,

            I’m crazy in love with you, miss you, hope that you’re having a wonderful time and look forward to your return.  Even when apart I still find joy in our being together.  Distance doesn’t separate the closeness of our hearts.

Your loving husband,

Hate is hungry [Politics]

NOTE:  I posted some of these comments on Facebook before I deactivated my account on Sunday 11/13/16. To make them more coherent I have edited and reproduced them here at my blog.

Congratulations to all democracy minded people. Well played. Well fought. The Republic stands. Democracy works. We should all celebrate the day. The hating needs to end. A nation divided can be defeated. This country should be about family, love, friendship—those things that truly count the most at the end of the day.

We need to follow a practice that works well for couples--never go to bed angry if you want to stay together. Half this country needs to stop going to bed angry about the other half. My best wishes to all those that voted. It is what it is. We need to make it work.  I believe that the Christian response should be to embrace the vote and move forward in a positive fashion. That doesn’t mean capitulation of one’s ideals and values. Jesus accepted Rome’s laws. (Matthew 22: 18-21, But Jesus, knowing their evil intent, said, “You hypocrites, why are you trying to trap me? Show me the coin used for paying the tax.” They brought him a denarius, and he asked them, “Whose image is this? And whose inscription? “Caesar’s,” they replied. Then he said to them, “So give back to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s.” NIV) He didn’t tell Romans to follow Caesar with their actions and lifestyle. He died at their hands for his beliefs. Beliefs that he did not compromise on or change. This election doesn’t require anyone to take such drastic action.

Hate has a voracious appetite and it is never satisfied. Hate always wants more. Hate needs more. I made one of my last posts on Facebook about stopping hate in hopes of making things better. It was nice seeing a lot people expressing “likes” in support of the idea.

Facebook algorithms allow users to see what “friends” are liking, including the posts of others that we like. Expressing sentiments are nice. Actions will be much more important. If we “like” seeing a post that denigrates others then that doesn’t speak well for our sincerity about coming together as a nation.

I checked in on several of those ‘liked’ posts and it seems that I am now lumped in with what sounds like a pretty unsavory crowd including both liberals and terrorists. Hateful posts are being liked with alarming frequency by some of those who said we should pull together.

Then I made the huge mistake of checking in on a live feed awaiting the meeting between President Obama and President elect Donald Trump and watching the posts scroll. OMG! The amount of hate being expressed was overwhelming. The rest is history.

History will be what we make of it.