It’s a party; cry if you want to. [Politics]

It’s a party; cry if you want to.
by Keith Thomas

You know, I started out to write one piece about the upcoming election and ended up with something entirely different. Presidential elections are just like a party for a huge celebration of a system of governing that has existed for a couple of hundred years. It’s a raucous party at times. People can show up that were never expected. It’s also a party that easily gets out of control like a party held at your parents’ house when they were out of town.

What a show this election party has been so far! It is salacious and sordid. We may have to come up with new descriptive words for what is taking place. The full frontal assault on decency and civility will no doubt continue unabated. After this election we will all finish up feeling a little more mentally unclean I think.  We’ll also end up with a President.

Coming at us from the extremes of all sides is rhetoric that says you’re stupid or much, much worse if you’re voting for the other candidate. I don’t find these kinds of arguments conducive to winning people over to a particular viewpoint or candidate. They aren’t meant to be. They’re intended to be insulting, a public shaming intended to keep thoughtful inquiry suppressed. Not that that means anything.

"Truth,' it has been said, 'is the first casualty of war." [Philip Snowden, 1916.] I’m going to say that the same holds true for elections especially these days and it applies to all sides as much as we may want it otherwise.

There are no perfect candidates. In writing this I had to come to grips with why I told people that I disliked Hillary Clinton as well as Donald Trump. (My conclusion surprised me. But more on that later.) I really have no views on the other candidates this time around. My belief, rightly or wrongly, is that they will be lost in the storm, but at least they provide voting options. They provide a nice distraction from the often tawdry big show. I have voted for alternate party candidates in the past. This time around due to the dissatisfaction of so many of the electorate with the mainstream candidates I think that it’s quite possible that they could take in 15% +/- of the vote this time around. Blank ballots could even pick up a percentage point or two. In practical terms, two of the major contenders for a “third party”, the Green and Libertarian parties, do not have an electoral path to the Presidency. They are “get our issues out there” parties.

A lot of people aren’t entirely happy about the candidate that they will ultimately cast their vote for in this Presidential election. That is probably an understatement of ginormous proportions. For many this will be another of the “lesser of two evils” vote once again. One of the things that we need to do I believe  is that we have to put what is taking place and why we have been conditioned to think of certain things concerning the candidates and our government in perspective.

First off I believe that it’s important to ask how our culture in general got to such a toxic state of hate and mistrust. I am quoting here from Donald Trump’s book “Trump:  The Art of the Deal”.

“Even though the publicity was almost entirely negative, there was a great deal of it, and that drew a tremendous amount of attention to Trump Tower. Almost immediately we saw an upsurge in the sales of apartments. I’m not saying that’s a good thing, and in truth it probably says something perverse about the culture we live in. But I’m a businessman, and I learned a lesson from that experience:  good publicity is preferable to bad, but from a bottom-line perspective, bad publicity is sometimes better than no publicity at all. Controversy, in short, sells.”

What constitutes the truth in this day and age has become a moving target. What Trump said back in 1987 applies to our current times as well except our culture has managed to become even more “perverse”. We have had decades of a constant bombardment of hate and negativity. Let’s face it, hate sells. Negative advertising in campaigns sells. Personal attacks sell. The threat of violence sells. Fear of anything that we’re unsure about or that is foreign to us sells. There is a never ending stream of propaganda feeding this fear, frustration and ambiguity. Repeat the same lie often enough by enough people and it becomes the truth. With each passing year finding the actual truth in the morass of spin and statistics coupled with an endless supply of speculation becomes increasingly difficult if not impossible.

I am going to quickly interject here the recent findings of the last Republican Benghazi Committee timed for release during the election cycle. This is the 8^th iteration of this committee. When you get past all the pontificating here’s the result of over 2 years and an estimated $7 million dollars:  Hillary Clinton is not guilty of any crimes. (This verdict is from some of the very people that claim that the system is rigged.) All of the theories and pre-conceived answers were unproved. Oh yes, and our entire government, including those on the committee, could have done a better job.

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are the presumptive nominees. It would be a huge mistake to think that either one of them can’t get elected. Seriously, President Obama should not have been able to get reelected if even a fraction of the negative publicity had been true yet Republicans managed to snatch a defeat out of the jaws of victory and he was elected to a second term. In their recognition of that Republican leadership has doubled down on the strategy that didn’t work last time and is launching a campaign of hate into the stratosphere.

 In this election cycle Hillary Clinton was staring at the possibility of felony charges over her handling of classified emails. That possibility is now over or at least should be. The head of the FBI, formerly respected by Republicans, recommended against filing charges. Conservatives exploded. Liberals exulted. The rest of us tried to maintain hope that a long-suffering country’s nightmare is over. I can’t begin to tell you how sick I am of hearing about yet another of a long list of government officials screwing up email.

Sadly, the reprieve only lasted for a couple of nanoseconds before Republican Congressmen and women started talking about forming a committee and have since done so in order to hold more meetings and investigations, right up until the election. There’s even enough time for them to vote against Obamacare, a.k.a. the Affordable Care Act to those whose lives have been saved by the act, a couple more times before the election. Our leaders in Congress don’t really trust or have much faith in the government even though they control the House and the Senate. That seems a little odd to me but there you are. It turns out that we most believe in government when it provides the pre-determined answers that we want.

Donald Trump is still facing the possibility of civil charges over his Trump University scam in New York. (These charges concerning Trump University have been progressing through the court system for years. The only reason that they’re hitting now is because his lawyers have been using delaying tactics.)

We are hearing from the leadership of both of major parties that people must rally behind their party’s nominee. That positon says that a political party comes before the country. This is sad. This is not the United States of Republicans or Democrats. Men and women who previously said that Donald Trump was a grave threat to our nation are now supporting him. I used to be a Republican. While I wasn’t a Republican for very long I was a Republican longer than the current front running and presumptive nominee of the party. I am now back to being an Independent where I shall remain.

A dynamic split in both parties seems inevitable. There has already been some pretty awesome fallout. There often is during election cycles. The degree to which it has happened is what’s making this cycle noteworthy. Various groups of supporters and individuals have already drawn lines in the sand as to their professed positions regarding possible match ups and/or possible third party candidates. For many these stated positions will turn out to be flexible when the reality of the situation that the nation is in solidifies. Many will simply opt out, not only out of the election but out of parties.

It also seems to me to be historically demonstrated that states that have voted Republican the majority of time will continue to do so this election. There is a huge belt of conservative/Republican leaning states throughout the Midwest. If the Antichrist ran as a Republican in these states he would still get the majority of the vote. (I accept that referring to the Antichrist as a he is sexist.) Don’t get me wrong, there will be some metaphorical rending of garments and lamenting but when push comes to shove party stalwarts will vote Republican. It is just the way it is. Now stalwart Democrats might not even admit to the possibility of the Antichrist being their nominee but if she was they would vote for her.

There is a wealth of information available regarding the candidates of the two main parties. It is hard at times wading through the morass of speculation and conspiracy theories versus their actual history and positions. Both have positions that have changed or evolved just as our nation has. Videos and audios of them talking in interviews or at events have been helpful. I prefer the longer uncut videos as opposed to edited snippets. We also have their written comments although that requires more sourcing and verification. I believe that the most accurate picture of a candidate comes before the final push for votes takes place. In the last few months of an election most candidates are just saying what they think needs to be said to gain the most votes.

The Grand Old Party (GOP) leadership is in that proverbial position of being between a rock and hard spot with no best option of what to attempt next. If they were to deny Trump the nomination by some procedural maneuver the party would lose a major faction of his diehard supporters. P.E.R.I.O.D. (I don’t believe that they will. It’s kind of like the incessant but never acted upon talk about impeaching President Obama.) If they support him as a nominee many will be risking committing political suicide from conservative supporters who abhor the vulgarity of Trump as a man and candidate, leaving them with the prospect of having another major faction of the party supporting Clinton or a third party candidate. What I will refer to as the religious right of the party are already divided over Trump. Whatever scenario goes down the man has already shredded the party.

Tactically the Democratic Party is making a huge mistake if they don’t understand that part of their base is going to vote for Trump—probably larger than they will acknowledge.

I don’t need to spend much time on Hillary Clinton. She has been pounded for the last couple of decades with practically every accusation imaginable. There are hundreds if not thousands of sites on the internet dedicated to promoting the afore-mentioned conspiracy theories and accusations. I get something new every day in my email or web feeds. It’s just ridiculous propaganda possibly believed completely by those reading and distributing it. They are true believers.

I was chasing down one of those “new” conspiracy theories that was going to take down her entire campaign awhile back and realized that it was in reality one that I had already tracked down umpteen times before. The old theories have been repackaged, reformatted and are being marketed as being new again. Nothing has been proven and that really doesn’t make any sense given the weight of the entirety of all the accusations and theories.

That’s when I realized that in reality she hasn’t been convicted or found guilty of anything other than being human. That’s was when I had the epiphany that I disliked her not because she was guilty of anything but because I have been pounded with so much negative material that it just became a part of my thoughts. (It made me think of when I was stationed in Germany and was listening to a pirate radio station. Someone had left a station on and I didn’t want to bother with getting up to turn it off. I wrote home a lot and was there for a couple of hours. The station had a guy droning on and on about hating white people. It was just “we must kill the white man, kill the white man” over and over. As I was sitting there writing I found myself thinking “yes, we must kill the white man”. What? I got up and turned off the station. Now, it was not the belief that we should kill the white man that stuck but rather the words, like an ear worm.) Had I been asked if I had a favorable opinion of Hillary I would have just said no. Now, I have a neutral opinion.

I am not a fan of the Clintons. But as I reflect back, the reality is that for all the years, make that decades, of pounding vilification against the Clintons with the focus shifting to Hillary in the last decade, they have never been convicted of any crime. There are those I know that will say that they are just that devious and crafty at not getting caught. There’s also that they are just not guilty. Either way they come out being better than anyone that has tried to take them down.

Hillary Clinton has taken everything that has been thrown at her. She’s still standing and she’s still trading punches and she wins. Otherwise she wouldn’t still be here. Trump has never been through an experience like this other than the primary. This is his first time in the ring. He made it to the bigs without going to the minor leagues. He was the Don Rickles of the Republican Party primaries. He didn’t have to know anything. He only had to put on a good show.

Donald Trump maintains that he’s a counter-puncher and only hits back in response. What he does is he provokes response. For example he will lash out at Hillary Clinton over her husband’s infidelity in order to get her to engage him in scandalous debate, despite his own marital infidelities. He excels in such debate. He doesn’t mind wallowing in the mud as long as he can drag his adversaries down in there with him. If they won’t get in the pit with him he just splashes the mud up on them.

I know a number of veterans supporting Trump. Why? Obviously I am not one that is. For me he is a fortunate son draft avoider. He started off with a 1Y, received 4 deferments for school and then got a medical deferment before receiving a high number when the lottery started. Why support a man that made the decision not to serve the country during such a difficult time? I would have more respect for him if he had opposed the war for religious or other convictions like Muhammad Ali. He certainly didn’t play the ‘Man Card’ then and that would have been a great time to do it.

Yet he’s a war monger. Not only is he an advocate of war but he advocates committing war crimes. He denigrated Prisoner of War Veteran John McCain and said that he preferred those that didn’t get captured. (Yet McCain is supporting Trump.) Well, if you don’t serve you certainly don’t have to worry about getting captured. I’m not sure that people realize that was an insult to a lot of POW veterans of numerous wars from a man who avoided service.

Whatever happens at this point Donald Trump is going to end up one of the most hated men in America. His ego may let him relish that. I’m not sure that he’s ready for the level of hate that he has directed at others being aimed back at him.

I can’t really say for sure that Trump is a racist even though much of his rhetoric leans that way. I also know that he has no control over who chooses to support him. Whether anyone likes it or not it does seem clear that those that are racists are also drawn to his campaign. One of telling points though for me was when he singled out his Afro-American supporter in the crowd at a rally. The guy really stood out in the crowd. Trump does have the support of a few minorities but by and large he is the white person’s candidate. Perhaps a better way to say it is that the majority of his support seems to come from white people. It’s just the way it is.

I do want to pull from Trump’s book some items that I believe apply to the man that he is today.

“If there’s one thing that I’ve learned about the rich, it’s that they have a very low threshold for even the mildest discomfort.” [Pg261]”

“Barron is a member of what I call Lucky Sperm Club. He was born wealthy and bred to be an aristocrat, and he is one of those guys who never had to prove anything to anyone.” [Pg 236]

 “The other thing I do when I talk with reporters is to be straight. I try not to deceive them or to be defensive, because those are precisely the ways most people get themselves into trouble with the press. Instead, when a reporter asks me a tough question, I try to frame a positive answer, even if that means shifting the ground.” [Pgs 57-58]

“Even in elementary school, I was a very assertive, aggressive kid. In the second grade I actually gave a teacher a black eye—I punched my music teacher because I didn’t think that he knew anything about music and I almost got expelled. I’m not proud of that, but it’s clear evidence that even early on I had a tendency to stand up and make my opinions known in a very forceful way. The difference is now that I like to use my brain instead of my fists.” [Pgs 71-72]

I am biased about teachers. There are a number of teachers in my family. I can’t imagine throwing a punch at a teacher at any age. Trump didn’t get expelled so that pretty much confirms being a member himself of the Lucky Sperm Club. Even though he said he wasn’t proud of punching his teacher, he still made it a positive statement about being strong.

I believe that Donald Trump would do the same thing for America that he has done for the Republican Party. He would tear the country apart.

What should we look for in a President? There are a lot of different answers to that question, but here are some suggestions:

·         Recognition of the importance of the office (worldwide there are only a handful of leadership positions of countries that wield as much economic and military power as the United States. The President is the most recognizable representative of what we are as a nation whether we like it or not.)

·         Leadership skills: Respectful in dealing with others. Able to build a consensus. 

·         Knowledgeable grasp of the intricacies of government. Education. Experience.

·         Humanity

·         Honesty

·         Compassion 

·         Grace under pressure

·         Common sense 

·         Ethics

·         Moral, physical and mental strength

·         A servant’s heart

People have strengths and weaknesses in different areas. I don’t believe that any of our current candidates rise to the level of being evil and all of them are flawed. In aspiring to the highest elected position in our country, I would certainly want the candidate I vote for to bring a lot more to the table than what I have to offer and come closer to the ideal than the other candidate(s).

In consideration of all these things, then, I have decided to cast my vote for Hillary Clinton. 

What are nights for? [Caregiving]

What are nights for?

The title for this comes from some lyrics I heard once and I’m sorry that I can’t remember from who. The response was, “to separate the endless days” as either an answer or possible solution.

Caregiving and all that it can entail has been on my heart lately. I’m going to talk about our experience and it’s going to have to be deeply personal in places. The reason is that I see more friends, family, acquaintances and just the population in general having to deal with caregiving as our aging population increases. Spouses taking care of spouses, children and vice versa.

One of the first thing that I would like to say especially to those contemplating being a caregiver is that not everyone is cut out to be a caregiver. The second thing is that not everyone has a choice. The cost of caring for others is crippling in this country unless you can afford fifty thousand a year. Your spouse, significant other or support group needs to be totally invested. There is no dishonor in not being able to be a caregiver. My mom and dad tried taking care of her mom at one point in my life when I was a teenager. It was not good and ended badly. They should not have tried. They just weren’t cut out for it. That’s just the way it is.

My intention of writing this isn’t for recognition for us because many others are out there having done or are that are currently doing the same thing. If you have questions private message me. If you have something to add to the discussion please do so. I’m going to post this in two places, at my blog and here on facebook.

Caregiving can be as rewarding as it is demanding. Providing care to another can be vexing, frustrating, fulfilling, depressing, enlightening, emotionally draining, humbling, challenging, physically demanding, strengthening and more. You will find yourself at times going through every emotion there is in a day, sometimes within minutes. The caregiver often becomes the advocate for the person in their care. A child becomes the parent and there can be resentment. The caregiver also becomes a symbol of the ward’s inability to care for themselves. Paul would get mad at me. I would get mad at Paul. It isn’t unnatural to have that happen. Just remember to apologize and go on. When I see a caregiver being too abrupt, speaking too harshly or jerking their ward around too much I suspect that they should not be caregiving. Perhaps they only need a respite from the demands. Perhaps they need to look into other alternatives.

As a caregiver you will end up doing things that you never contemplated doing. If you have ever taken care of a baby, imagine doing the same things that you did with them only doing them with an adult. Dealing with the sheer amount of urine, bowel movements and cleanup can be daunting in and of itself.

You will make mistakes. Paul took up to 15 medications several times during the day a couple of hours apart. If we messed up his pills he paid for it. He had a bad day and there was nothing that we could do about it. Being able to keep track of and take their medications on time is perhaps one of the first things to go especially if any level of dementia is involved. The concept of time is a tough concept to teach children: time requires a higher functioning ability. (I can remember one of my boys asking me to explain about tomorrow. The next day they asked if it was tomorrow. My answer of tomorrow never actually gets here; that yesterday this was tomorrow but now it’s today did not resolve the issue.) I will never forget the look on dad’s face when the doc asked him to draw a clock with hands and show a particular time. He was unable to do it. There were other soul-crushing moments for him. You just have to accept them and move on.

The person in your care will have good days and bad days, especially if they have a debilitating illness or injury. Hopefully they will have more good days than bad for a while. Eventually the bad days will outnumber the good. You fight for the good days. You try to be positive. You try not to cry in front of them.

Just a little background to give my bona fides for being qualified to write on this subject. Shelley, my wife, and I along with my brother were caregivers for almost 17 years. My younger brother along with his new wife continues to provide care as of this writing. (Younger at our age is a relative term.) Shelley and I are done for now with providing care with the passing of her father, Paul, in June of 2015. Coincidentally, he passed away on the same day of the month that my father did in 1974.

We were fortunate in that in both instances of our providing care for family members we were able to start off slow with regard to the level of care that we needed to provide. It started with our mother in 1999 when she had a stroke and subsequent surgery to remove a brain tumor. Paul came to live with us in 2003. He had been diagnosed with Parkinson’s in 1997 and had finally reached the point where he was needing assistance in life. Mother passed on 2009. Paul in 2015. In both instances it was a blessing and tender mercy.

I have an Aunt and Uncle with children who went almost immediately to having to provide full time around the clock care for a decade for their son injured in an accident. My Uncle passed away during this time and my aunt soldiered on. I mention her because she served as my inspiration during dark times when I wasn’t sure that I was able to continue doing the job before me.

I don’t know if I/we have any lessons to impart. There is just our experience and perspective to pass along. In other words we just did what we did in the circumstances that we were in. We were fortunate to be able to pull it off. We provided for our loved ones. Mother and Dad were able to be in their homes when they passed.

Ideally the person that is being cared for is happy, cooperative and a willing partner in facilitating their care. It never hurts to dream and I’m sure there are instances where this happens. I would often tell doctors when Paul would express irritation at things that I would do in caring for him that I understood his position and irritation. I was the first face he saw of a morning, throughout the day and into the night. He heard my voice throughout the day. I was a cheerleader and coach. There were times he called me sergeant. He got sick of hearing my voice. I got sick of hearing me! Because of his dementia I would have to repeat the same things day after day. That’s the deal. Paul often didn’t know that his first time hearing something was my thousandth telling him.

For me I had to be dispassionate. I had a job to do. Paul and I only cried together a couple of times. I told Paul from the very beginning that I would always be honest with him. Dementia can be a huge hurdle to deal with in caring for someone. The hard part for me was watching someone that I loved dissolve mentally. Paul said that he felt like he was shrinking. He was a college-educated aerospace engineer and was unable to dress himself. Now, he could carry on a perfectly normal conversation even though his response time was slow. There are lots of different kinds and degrees of dementia. Paul’s particular type of dementia is called Lewy body dementia and spatial relations as well as sequencing are affected. His memory was also impaired in some ways. Now, he might try to put his pants on over his head even though he knew that was wrong. He just couldn’t translate that knowledge into doing it right. I spent hours with him trying to help him figure out how to get that ability back. We tried as hard as we could to help him hang onto the things that he was able to do for as long as he could before taking some function of daily life over because once you start doing something you’re going to keep doing from then on. Shelley would spend hours fixing computer-related problems for him until it finally became too much: computers require higher level functioning. Eventually, even on/off switches became too difficult for him to figure out.

This is important: there are medications that can help with dementia. We saw definite improvement with Paul when he started taking them, even though they won’t slow the progression of the disease.

Caring for our mother was an entirely different story and she would want me to say on record that she never could believe that we took her car away from her because she was perfectly capable of driving. PERIOD. (Paul, on the other hand, voluntarily surrendered his keys when his reaction time became too slow to drive safely.) Towards the last Kim was a variety of people to her. He would be one of her brothers long gone bringing her coffee of a morning. He could turn around, come right back into the room and be Kim.

She would forget at times that she was an invalid and unable to take care of her most basic needs. One incident that comes to mind is when Kim and I were changing her because she had wet through her depends.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!”, She asked. I should really add a lot more exclamation points here in addition to using all caps.

“Well, mom, we’re changing you.”

“WHAT WOULD THE NEIGHBORS THINK?”

“They won’t know, mom, so it isn’t any problem.” (This was not a good answer.)

“I’M CALLING THE POLICE!”

During this time she tried to bite me several times. Then of course she forgot about this happening as well.

Caregiving can be an incredible strain on a relationship and household in every aspect. I can’t stress this enough. My brother had a marriage come apart while caring for our mother. But he soldiered on. Shelley and I had close to a zero social life and hadn’t been to a movie together in years. Finances can be challenging as well. If a home isn’t handicapped equipped retro-fitting can get very expensive even for just the basic necessities. Just building a ramp for access into the home can be expensive if you don’t have enough money to begin with. Paul did. He could also afford all the consumables like Depends, pads, wipes, lotions, cleaning supplies, etc. The washing machine was constantly running so you can figure increased utility costs and laundry supplies as well. All the doctor appointments will take a lot of gas. This list could go on but this is just to give you some idea of the impact. He was also able to afford equipment not provided by insurance or Medicare.

Many older homes can’t be equipped without major structural changes. The bathroom our mother had access to had a 28 inch door and no way to make it larger. She had to be carried in since she wasn’t able to walk and had a shoulder injury that prevented her being able to use grab bars. These are the kinds of obstacles that people often have to face.

Work can also present a problem because you will miss work if you have a job. Quite often people realize that they can’t do both and have to choose. Shelley had to work and when she got home she would spell me. I would try not to wake her when I got up at night to tend to Paul. He had a call button that would dial my cell phone when he needed something. I prided myself on being able to respond within a minute and a half.

You sleep and live in snatches. There was one year that I got one good night’s sleep. We had grabbed an entire weekend while my brother watched Paul. I was able to sleep a night straight through. I didn’t even get up to pee. I don’t say this like “oh poor me” because I thought that it was pretty special to be able to have that night and then remember how special a night’s sleep can be. We learned how to appreciate the smallest or even mundane events. Now I find myself with an attention span focused to incremental time.

I provided a little more detail than perhaps is necessary but I want to stress that caregiving can affect every aspect of your life. The days stretch out before you but the focus is on the day and what do you do tomorrow. My brother and I would often pray for just getting through the day and having the strength for tomorrow for one more day.

I use the words “can” and “may” often when talking about caregiving because every circumstance is different. I was not an expert on Parkinson’s disease I was an expert on Paul having Parkinson’s disease and how he was affected. Kim was an expert on our mother being an invalid. People respond to medications and treatments differently. What works for one won’t necessarily work for another.

When ultimately your ward passes there won’t be any medals given. All I can tell you is that there is joy in having done it, having made it. Our mother wanted to pass away in her home and by grace we were able to provide that. Because of her dementia she didn’t even know that she was in her home but that’s okay. We did. We knew that she was in the home where she had raised us and lived with our father. On what turned out to be her last night she looked so comfortable in her chair that my brother and I decided not to move her to her bed. We never did that. That night we did. She passed during the night in her favorite chair.

Kim and I were at a family dinner in Halstead, KS after mom had passed and couldn’t shake an uncomfortable feeling that we both had. Then we realized that it had been years since he and I had been in the same room together since one of us wasn’t with mom.

Paul’s ending was different. He had Shelley and I sit down on a Saturday and told us that he didn’t want to go on. Though this was not the first time he’d said that, it was clear that this time it was different. Because of the way the conversation went I told dad that I wasn’t going to put a pillow over his head. Shelley had to affirm that we weren’t going to end him. We told him that we were caregivers not life takers. We couldn’t stop doing our best to care for him. He was tired. So he quit – basically stopped taking food and water. We called hospice in on Monday and he passed away that Wednesday. 

What a blessing hospice care was! Thanks to a friend, we knew how to take advantage of this wonderful resource. Too many people are not familiar with what they do and how they can ease the end of life transition. If we had only known, we could have had the same comfort for my mom.

Paul had reaffirmed his faith with Pastor Rob previously and even now that still fills up my heart and makes me cry with joy.

Then after everything is over, after winning the struggle, after accomplishing the goal of tending to a loved one, guilt can set in. Shelley and I both couldn’t shake the anxious feeling that would set in at prescheduled times when we would have been doing something but we had nothing we needed to do. I suppose that it’s a form of survivor’s guilt. Guilt at wishing that I had done a better job. Guilt at feeling good at having a life again.

But above all else I want to say that providing care for another human being is one of the most intimate, beautiful and rewarding acts that one human being can do for another.

We would do it again in a heartbeat.

The Good Plan

The good plan

 

        The Muslim (Believers of Islam) population in the United States is estimated to be from 5 to 8 million. Millions of them are already citizens and have been for decades. Non-Muslim extremists as well as Muslim extremists are doing their level best to piss them off. Thanks to the NRA and 2^nd Amendment folks it’s as easy for them to obtain weapons as everybody else. Anyone else see a problem with this plan?

       The answer that I often see whenever there is a mass killing is that we need more guns. We are a nation awash in guns already. Is the answer to make sure that everyone is armed? Then what? There will still be mass killings. (BTW I have lots of weapons and I carry.) Then will we finally start to deal with the problem?

       We have to get past thinking that this is about Muslims or any other specific group. This is about mass killings.

Lonesome Trump [Politics]

I have in mind two movies that I believe provide great reference points to what is taking place in our culture, especially in regards to the current Presidential election.

Years ago Andy Griffith starred in the movie "A Face in the Crowd". He played a character named "Lonesome Rhodes". Patricia Neal and Walter Matthew were also in the movie directed by Elia Kazan. Andy Griffith did an incredible job of acting. The movie is one of my all time favorites and the years haven't diminished its relevancy. If anything the message resonates even more. Though technology has changed how the delivery of an agenda is accomplished the human character traits remain very much the same. Griffith's character is finally undone by an open microphone where unbeknownst to him he is sharing his true feelings about people.

The other relevant movie to the subject matter of the Presidential election that comes to mind is "Hammersmith is Out" starring Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Burton, Peter Ustinov and Beau Bridges. Richard Burton plays a character that is insane, escapes from a mental institution and takes Beau Bridges' character to fame and fortune by being pathologically ruthless. Insanity not only rules but it works quite efficiently.

There are considerations that should be made of those that seek the office of President. What is their measure as a person? What do they value? What is their history? How does they treat human beings? Are they considerate? Are they rude? Do their actions live up to their words? Are they fair? Are they reasonable? The list of what we look for in a human being can and should be long, keeping in mind that they will fall short of our expectations. We are all fallible.

Character is important. In regards to character it's hard to come up with an appropriate descriptive representation of what Trump as a man embodies. Being an accomplished showman is perhaps one of his better characteristics. He is a legend in his own mind. Ask him. He isn’t shy. Though he is less than the sum of his parts he is much more than a cliché or stereotype. After hearing him speak I feel like I need to take a mental shower. It's like he has soiled himself intellectually and is darned proud of it. Trump manages to be a caricature of himself.  Money simply makes him a more dangerous Archie Bunker but not in any way endearing or funny. He is to politics and the Republican Party what the Westboro Baptist Church (WBC) is to religion. But unlike the character played by Griffith he isn't being undone by an open mic. His is an open mic. His history of abuse to people (rich, poor, average, wives, workers, women) is not only well documented but Trump revels in it and defends his questionable actions at every opportunity.

As much as I have enjoyed the Trump candidacy for President of the United States I've had enough.  The stuff that spews out of his mouth is both repellent yet fascinatingly entertaining at the same time. The truly sad part is that so many are called to him; that he's telling them what they want to hear because they already believe his message and are willing recipients. Trump speaks to that dark side of humanity that exists in all of us. While many struggle against that darkness others embrace it as their guide. Like the WBC, Trump speaks to the choir or at least a choir. Only Trump's choir is much larger. Therein the problem lies.

He is the quintessential schoolyard bully. No slight, real or imagined, goes unchallenged. Is this a man that should be Commander In Chief of our armed forces? Is this a man that should be in charge of our nuclear arsenal?

That so many in the Republican Party leadership and members would support such a vacuous deadbeat of a man as Trump is truly disheartening. And according to Mr. Trump not supporting him makes me stupid. He may indeed “win” the Republican Party but at what cost? He is not capable of winning the office of President.

We are going to end up with a choice to make and there isn’t always a “best” choice but rather the choice that we have before us.