Friday, May 1, 2020

Liberate! Liberate! Liberate!




Imagine!
        Heavily armed Muslim terrorists storm Michigan Capitol and threaten legislature! President Obama says that the Governor should negotiate with them!
        Heavily armed Black Lives Matter terrorists storm Michigan Capitol and threaten legislature! President Obama says that the Governor should negotiate with them!
        Heavily armed Mexican immigrants storm Michigan Capitol and threaten legislature! President Obama says that the Governor should negotiate with them!

        Couldn’t resist the temptation to grab some headlines.
        Oh wait! Here’s an even better one:

        Heavily armed Black Muslim terrorist led by a Hispanic woman passing for black storm Michigan Capitol and threaten legislature! I think that one nailed it. IDK though. I would have liked to slip “diseased” in there somewhere.

Back in the real world.
        Once upon a time a few tweets ago President Trump tweets “Liberate Michigan” and lo and behold his armed supporters showed up at the Capitol of Michigan. Who would have thought?!
        The police allowed the heavily armed WHITE men and women to enter after their temperatures were taken. As we now know, at least those of us that do not believe this is a hoax, people can have COVID-19 and not show symptoms. These people were only exercising their Constitutional right to endanger people.
        Do you think that when they drove there they obeyed the speed limits and stopped at stop signs? Gosh I hope so. They really don’t like other people telling them what to do. Telling them to be a somewhat moral human being and respect the rights of others not to be made sick and killed by them is simply going way too far! If they want to cough on someone they will by God do it! I suppose that we should be happy that they didn’t exercise their Constitutional right to carry flaming torches into the building.

Lawless Hordes!
        Seriously though, weren’t the marauding hordes of lawless pillaging rapists that posed a danger to the nation supposed to come from the south and be brown? What happened? Well, it turns out that they were white people and President Herr Twittler (Isn’t that a good one? I just saw that the other day.) says that they’re “…very good people.” He said that the Governor of Michigan should negotiate directly with the terrorists, er….very good people. It’s nice that he didn’t equivocate this time like he did with the Nazis and racists. Only some of them were good people. Or were they nice people? I forget. Only our very stable genius President knows for sure. He should check with the White Supremacists on his staff about which they prefer to be called.
        He also took a little time to insult some of his favs. I uploaded that screenshot because I’m not sure exactly what he meant about AOC! It might not necessarily be an insult. It could be a cry for help. People are picking on him again by asking him why he screwed things up so bad and 65,000 people died. Oh I know. That’s a cheap shot. A lot of them would have been dead anyway and the majority are oldsters. Not really that big of a deal. We’ll only hit 70,000 by the end of next week. Perhaps sooner. A lot depends upon how fast Republican Governors, the virus is a hoax, and the I-got-my-Constitutional-right-to-endanger-you people along with the Ducé can drive the numbers up. With enough effort they could make 100,000 by the first of June. My God I hope that’s wrong!

Storm the White House!
        Perhaps the heavily armed white people can storm the White House next week and demand their COVID-19 tests that the President said that every American could have early on. And by early on I mean back in the time when there only 15 cases in the entire country and it was going to disappear.

        What he really meant was…..[fill in the blank with rationalization de jour here]

        Back to storming the White House….that sounds like a hugely bad idea. But then so did injecting Lysol and yet. (And yes I watched the video time and time again and he really did suggest injecting disinfectant. I just used Lysol because it sounds cool.)
        While I’m thinking about it why doesn’t the Ducé allow the gun nuts to bring their long guns into the White House? Now I’ll grant you that state governors probably don’t have as many people wanting to murder them as the President but still. He’s the President and has the absolute authority of the land, see and air. I was just seeing if you were paying attention this far into the….what…essay….yeah I’m going with essay. Has a nice ring to it. Jacks it up a little. Makes it sound more like I put a lot of effort into it.
        No, I don’t think that Trump supporters should storm the White House with their long guns. After all—he is their white guy. I’m quite sure that his people of color supporters would be just as welcome with their long guns. Wouldn’t it be cool if they did though? The Secret Service could just take their temperature and then let them in.

2nd Amendment Nuts
        The nation is awash in guns. We have more guns than ever in the hands of the population. Some of us have several to choose from. Yet the NRA, the President and gun nuts in general continue to say that THEY are coming after our guns! And with each passing day there are more guns on the streets. All god’s children got guns.

“What do we need?!”
“More guns!”
“When do we need them?!”
“Now!”
“Why do we need them?!”
“Jesus wants us to have them!”

        Always the answer. We need more guns.

Back to the White House
        Does the President really need the Secret Service? Just fill up the White House with gun totin’ trump supporters and save some money. They’ve got guns and they’re just itchin’ to use them. AND they’re very good people! Just surround the President with very good people saying sir with tears in their eyes. Then he can really be just like all the other heads of Banana Republics.