(5.6-minute read.)
Epiphany[1]
Have you ever had an epiphany? Not in the religious sense but rather a sudden realization about something. It seems like at even my ripe old age I’ve had several of those recently. Deconstruction of my faith is just one example. I read the words “move along” in a post, had an epiphany related to deconstruction and that I have been looking the other way for far too long. Silence can be golden. It can also be used to avoid difficult conversations or situations.
Something is happening here. What it is ain't exactly clear.
But I’m getting there.
The wreck was real.
Ever been in an accident?
When I was a teenager, I was in a bad wreck. It was my fault. I had 2 passengers in the car with me. I accidentally ran a stop sign. Just didn’t see it. Broadsided a car. The older gentleman driving it went to the hospital to be checked out. His car was totaled. He ended up being okay. Just shook up, as we all were. The memory of the accident is still with me.
Time was altered. As I was going through the accident it was like I could see everything that was happening but in slow motion, unable to move fast enough to change what was happening. It was like I could see everything at once. The stop sign. The other car going through the intersection. The older gentleman driving it. The houses in the neighborhood. My foot on its way to the brake pedal but in slow motion. Looking at my two friends next to me. In that split second, I knew that I was going to hit his car and it was going to be bad.
Everything was over in a couple of seconds.
It seemed like minutes.
Train wrecks
Train wrecks are as horrible as they are mesmerizing. There’s a channel on You Tube called “The Best Train Wrecks.” In part I think that people are fascinated with train wrecks because trains are so massive and powerful. They are hard to stop. A train can take a couple of miles to stop after hitting a vehicle on the tracks. The conductor can know what’s going to happen yet be powerless to do anything other than blow the horn.
I could appreciate watching the train wreck more if I wasn’t on the train. That’s what society currently feels like as we approach the 2024 elections.
We’re all on the train.
Panic in the streets!
I have realized that for a long time in my life I have been looking the other way and been dishonest with myself. I have the same questions about the Christian faith now that I had as a child.
We had a Crosley radio that I loved when I was a child. If we were very careful and atmospheric conditions were just right, with very careful tuning we could pull in broadcasts from all over the country and sometimes the world. I was listening to a religious station from who knows where and the pastor scared the bejeezus out of me talking about the world coming to an end. Even though I was just a kid I had goals that I wanted to accomplish so I ran to my dad with my concerns. Dad said, “Ignore that crap! They’ve been saying that stuff since I was a kid.”
Fear mongering.
I am a prophet.
Here’s where I am so far.
The end may or may not be near but it has nothing to do with Jesus and everything to do with humans. There will be NO rapture. There is evil. There is NO devil. Evil stands alone, it doesn’t need a Capital D in front of it. The earth isn’t flat. There is no science fiction dome holding back water and making the sky. There is no “mark of the beast”. If you do get bitten by a dog go seek medical attention for God’s sake. Don’t play with rattlesnakes. If they bite you, you’ll die. The choice between good or evil is ours. God is not a micromanager of everyone. Jesus is NOT coming back. Christian nationalism is evil.
I want to spread the New Word. Send me money so I can build a world headquarters to spread my message. Get in on the ground floor of the First Church of Jesus without Jesus. We’ll believe that it isn’t part of god’s plan to kill babies through miscarriages or slaughter people in the name of god. We’ll believe that vaccines work and science is real. We’ll tell our believers that it isn’t right to go around threatening and endangering people. We’ll say things like everyone is welcome and mean it!
Tell everyone you know.
Honestly
I have been dishonest with myself. I had the same faith questions as a teenager and when pastors would provide answers, I would act like I believed them and then moved on. The Christian faith relies heavily upon fear mongering to fill pews and bring in the money. If that message isn’t working—scare the shit out of people. That’s where the real money is. Well, for the mega pastors of the mega churches where people can go to check the attendance box and be told that their Christian hate and intolerance is a good thing as smaller churches are starved for funds.[2] The wealth of Joel Osteen, Kenneth Copeland and a half dozen other wealthy evangelists could fund thousands of churches and pastors.[3]
The majority of good decent pastors in the country are NOT wealthy and will never be wealthy. I knew a good number of pastors over the years that had to work a “real” job to support their families and pastor on the weekends. They want to provide for their families.
There are pastors that are outspoken about what is taking place in America right up until they cross the wrong people and their congregations turn against them. They are looking for work in a market that wants mediocrity and subservience to political power.
What gets to me lately in the real world. Not the Facebook world. That isn’t the real world. It’s meme world. It’s disinformation world. It’s grift world. I see all these friends and people that I love going down outrageous rabbit holes. It just makes me sad. And there’s absolutely nothing that I can do about it. But I don’t have to be just sad. I don’t have to witness the wreck or be a part of the train wreck. I just have to get past the years of patriarchal indoctrination and biblical myths in order to regain my spiritual connection with God.
I’m moving on.
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