The Christian Persecution League of America.

 

Warning:  There is some vulgar language used.

The CPLA is coming for you!

^        Of late I’m seeing right-wing religious memes circulating that the Chinese government is persecuting Christians again. They bring this up because according to them Christians are being persecuted in our country. What’s more, what’s happening in China is coming at us! Right here in the good old United States of America! Yes, they believe that and are currently selling that notion.

^        I’m pretty sure that Hillary and Bill are, if not the heads, at least are on the board of the secret Christian Persecution League of America (CPLA), a spinoff of the tri-lateral Commission. I think George Soros and Bill Gates are on there as well. They kicked Bernie Sanders off to make a spot for Joe Biden. In case you’re wondering why Bernie was so upset. He’s been upset for quite awhile but he was kind of extra upset for a brief period. Well, now you have the answer.

Christians being tortured!

^        Now periodically the Chinese Government does indeed persecute Christians, as does the Chosen One’s friend Putin, when he gets tired of poisoning enemies and paying bounties for dead Americans. Same thing happens in the Middle East. Funny thing there. The Chosen One banned immigration from the same Middle East countries where Christians are trying to escape actual persecution. He’s preventing Christians from escaping and has the full support of Evangelicals.

Here’s what actual persecution looks like: 

Ω  ‘Russia, Russia, Russia’. Specializes in persecuting Jehovah’s Witnesses. The religion is outright banned. Bibles confiscated and destroyed. Property confiscated. (Church property belongs to the state.)

Ω  ‘China. China.’ Christians imprisoned for holding religious services. Churches torn down. Christians murdered.

Ω  North Korea. Christians imprisoned and killed. If the government finds out they’re gone.

Ω  Saudi Arabia. Death sentence for Christians evangelizing. No Christian symbols allowed in public.

Ω  India. Christians attacked. Christians murdered.  

Ω  Iran. Christians fleeing from persecution.

Ω  Afghanistan. Christians murdered.

Ω  Pakistan. Christians murdered for practicing their faith.

^        Look, I could go on and on with this list but you get the drift. Murder, rape, imprisonment, confiscation of property, etc. are the usual instruments of the more extreme persecution followed by beatings, public harassment, vandalism, etc.

Oh the humanity!

^        I’m not trying to say that Christians in this country aren’t having hard times. Of course they are!

Ω  They have been told that they have to wear masks during a pandemic to save their lives and the lives of others.

Ω  They have been told to keep their distance from each other in public and at church during a pandemic just like everyone else!

It gets worse.

Christians….

Ω  …. with businesses serving the public have been asked to act like Jesus and bake cakes for gay people!

Ω  …. have been told that they can’t discriminate against people for their sexual orientation!

Ω  …. have to allow gay people to marry in churches!

Ω  …. aren’t prevented from praying in private or public!

Ω  …. aren’t allowed to burn people at the stake anymore!

Ω  …. can’t hold any more inquisitions!

Ω  …. don’t get to make people wear scarlet letters!

^        It’s possible that I may have gotten a little carried away. I really didn’t have much to work with since Christians aren’t actually being persecuted in this country. But I’m sure we’re heading there just as surely as President Trump is the smartest man in all of the world if not all of history!

In the real world.

^        To sum up, the United States doesn’t actually make the list of countries where Christians are being persecuted.

^        Christians in this country aren’t being martyred, beaten, tortured, banished, denied food, killed, maimed, raped or thrown in prison by the government. Yes, the government is rounding up, interring and persecuting brown people but that's as close as we come to it and it isn't based upon religion. It's based upon race. Technically there are undoubtedly Christians among the immigrants being detained illegally, BUT Evangelicals are okay with that as long as they’re brown. And yes, there are secret police snatching people (many of whom are very likely Christians) up off the street but it’s because they’re protesting the government that’s snatching people off the street, not because they are or aren’t Christian.

Obviously I skipped some things.

^        Let’s see, there are probably some other things. Oh yes! They have to go the speed limit and wear a seatbelt, or they can get an award from the government. If they work as a cook they have to wear a hairnet! They have to wear shoes in some places if they want service. Same thing for shirts. They can’t smoke in public places because it’s not healthy. (There are a lot of Health Department regulations and inspections that protect us from harm, intentional or otherwise.) Oh wait! They have been required to wear a face mask because there’s a fucking pandemic going on and because the Chosen One has made a complete clusterfuck out of handling the pandemic.

^        Oh yes, Evangelicals are cray. They truly believe that they are being persecuted when they are not allowed to impose their views on everyone else.

The mark of Magamemnon!

^        Evangelicals are okay with killing unbelievers by not wearing masks because they claim that the people that are taking the Trump Virus pandemic seriously are living in fear. Maybe they want to spread the virus as much as possible because they believe that we are living in the end times. (BTW they’ve been selling that line at least since my dad was a kid.)

^        They’re also okey dokey with killing Christian men, women and children. They know that they’re going to heaven, God bless them. The economy comes first! Now that’s right out of the bible, folks, so don’t go and get all snarky with me.

^        Seriously doesn’t MAGA sound like the name of some biblical bad guy: King Maga, son of the Great Magamemnon, struck down the children of Israel! He was the worst of the Seven Kings! Okay, I just made that part up.

^        But enough of this religious fear mongering and onto just your regular average everyday fear mongering. One last thing to the super duper religious people. Isn’t Satan red? One more last thing.

Your God sent a plague.