(2-minute read)
Coming soon!
Have you been watching videos of Donald Trump and aren’t sure what he’s saying?! You aren’t alone! There are millions of people just like you! Do statements like this from Trump make you wonder what in the hell is he talking about?
We have become a drug infested, crime ridden nation which is incapable of solvin’ even the sollest smallest problem the simplest of problems we can no longer solve we can’t do anything we are an institute in a powerful death penalty we will put this on.[1]
Does this sound like jumbled up word salad to you? Well it is but you no longer have to wonder about what Dear Leader is saying! All will become clear with your decoder ring.
Each ring has a bust of Trump created by the finest artisans available with his hands outstretched in his familiar dramatic pose. The ring is made out of the finest plastic-like material available with an awesome faux gold color bonded to all the surfaces. This ring is the most beautiful ring in history. You can proudly wear your ring everywhere you go.
It’s easy to use too! First just set your by turning Trump’s tiny hands to the clearly marked stun position.* Then all you have to do is pull out the 35 page pocket manual that comes with each ring that explains what the hell Trump’s various gibberish comments mean. Each manual is facsimile signed by Donald Trump’s trademarked signature with one of his favorite phrases reproduced in the finest faux gold.
I love stupid people!
Get one for the entire family. Also makes a great gift for mom!
But Wait!
In addition to the Trump Decoder Ring a coupon will be available for every purchase that gives 2% off per gallon of Trump’s special super-secret formula bronzer purchased!** Trying is believing. This stuff is so good that Melania almost used it once!
Now, how much would you expect to pay for a quality package like this? $500? $1,000? No! You can get this incredible value for the measly sum of $199.99! Incredible! Get yours now because when they’re gone,
They’re gone!
*Batteries not included.
**The FDA has not determined the hazards of using too much bronzer. It is possible to become too dark and run the risk of alienating white supremacist friends. There have been reported cases of the bronzer causing excess sweating. Sellers are NOT responsible for difficult to remove stains. Purchasing Trump Stain Away can help resolve this problem.
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[1] https://www.msn.com/en-gb/news/world/trump-utter-s-incoherent-sentence-about-us-not-solving-sollest-smallest-problem/ar-BB1h8IXe