(2-minute read)
I’m a Swiftie.
TOP SECRET, SEO*
Swiftelrad Alert!
Urgent message for all Swifties!
MAGA has declared war on beloved Taylor Swift!
All Swiftie Chapters, Cadres, Units, Clubs are called to standby status! We are now at Swiftcon 3! Swift Deployment Brigades are to proceed to their ready stations. Advance squads working jointly with the CIA and Homeland Security are already shaping the Upcoming Las Vegas Superbowl stadium in preparation for Taylor’s … arrival.
Taylor will descend into the stadium where she will trample out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored; She will loose the fateful lightning of her terrible Swift sword! Then she’s going into some real serious shit but we can’t talk about that just yet.
She hasn’t finished the lyrics.
*Swifties Eyes Only
Swiftions.
There are millions upon millions of young and old Swifties out there.[1] MILLIONS! Including Republicans. Why would MAGA go out of their way to antagonize them especially since they are an overall decidedly younger demographic?
The MAGA Jesus crowd has come out strong against her even going so far as to say she’s a witch.[2] Yes, really. BTW Taylor identifies as Christian. Not that that means anything to MAGA Christians.
They have their values.
Heading where?
For all we know Travis Kelce might be a Republican.[3] Just kidding. Probably not. But his focus is FOOTBALL! And Taylor Swift. That’s what seems obvious in every public display of affection that we see. They seem as easy, comfortable and natural with each other as couples that have been together for years. They seem to already be caring friends.
For America’s sake I hope they stay together. If they don’t it will be the mother of all breakups. I don’t even want to think about it. So, for the good of the nation I can only hope that they not only stay together but take the next big step and get married and start having little TayTravs. The people can use some positive role models. Do it for the good of the country!
Travis, take a knee. Make the commitment. Pop the question. So we can be …
A grateful nation.
BTW I think that they have already secretly married. Let’s start that one.
https://yadayadayadablahblah.blogspot.com/
[1] https://www.nme.com/news/music/more-than-half-of-adults-in-the-us-say-theyre-taylor-swift-fans-new-survey-finds-3413795
[2] https://religionnews.com/2020/12/22/taylor-swifts-witchy-new-album-fuels-speculation-about-her-interest-in-the-craft/
[3] https://thepoliticswatcher.com/pages/articles/congress/2023/6/6/travis-kelce-political-views-inside